a dad

Ever wish you could just buy a dad? Well, here’s the bad news: our no dad club “dad” is officially sold out. That’s right—just like your real dad, this one’s nowhere to be found. Whether you were hoping for some fatherly advice, a game of catch, or just someone to teach you how to shave, you’re out of luck. This product flew off the shelves faster than Dad did when he went out for that infamous pack of cigarettes.

But hey, look at the bright side—you’ve gotten this far without one, right? Consider this sold-out product a tongue-in-cheek reminder that sometimes the best dads are the ones that never show up. No awkward life talks, no forced bonding moments, and no one to tell you to turn the music down. It’s all freedom and self-reliance from here on out.

And while you can’t add a dad to your cart, you can always count on your sense of humor to fill the void. After all, laughter is the best way to cope with all those moments when you needed a dad and found nothing but an empty seat at the dinner table. We like to think of it as the ultimate in fatherly independence—a DIY childhood where you had to figure it all out on your own.

So, if you were looking forward to finally having that father figure in your life, we’re sorry to disappoint. But let’s be honest, you’re probably better off. Keep an eye out for restocks—though we wouldn’t hold our breath. This dad might just be as elusive as the real thing. Until then, wear your fatherless status with pride and remember: who needs a dad when you’ve got your own back?